Toby’s Servicing Center
by Doc House
Summary: Dialogue fic. Toby and mystery guest spend a shocking evening together. Add whiskey to the mix, and you could have trouble. Hard R for content.


**Title**: Toby's Servicing Center.

**Author**: Doc

**Rating**:Hard R for sexual content.

**Pairing**: Toby and ?

**Notes**: Here is another dialogue fic.

* * *

"He's going to kill you." 

"This is not my fault."

"I'm drunk."

"Yes you are."

"You let me get drunk."

"I did no such thing."

"You had a bottle of Whiskey on your desk."

"And I didn't offer any of it to you."

"But you didn't stop me when I shoved you and made my own glass."

"Because you shoved me to the floor and stepped on me while you poured a glass."

"You're stronger than I am."

"What? Did you want me to manhandle you?"

"You wish."

"I thought we agreed to stop doing this."

"We're not doing anything."

"You're in my office, drinking my liquor, and making sex related remarks."

"I am not. I just said you wanted to manhandle me."

"I don't."

"Yes you do. You're male."

"And you're drunk."

"I haven't been drunk for years, Tobias."

"Liar."

"When?"

"Last week. Again, here in my office, drinking my liquor, and remarking about being manhandled."

"You had scotch last week."

"You can not have my scotch. No one can ever have my scotch."

"Do you find me attractive?"

"Yes."

"I love you when you don't try and play dumb with me."

"I know. I try not to play dumb at all, anymore."

"You did once."

"Yes."

"When?"

"We're not talking about it."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"You're sexy."

"Excuse me?"

"Put your eyes back in their sockets. You're sexy, and it's your birthday."

"Well, you got the second part down right."

"Nope. You are sexy. You have sexy eyes. You have sexy dimples on the rare occasion you smile. And that ass of yours..."

"You need help."

"You are the only one not afraid of me. Why is that?"

"I don't know. I thought I was afraid of you."

"No, no. Josh. Now he was afraid of me. Leo. Well, I've already frightened him. CJ. She runs into closets when I'm coming down the hall."

"She's afraid you're bringing her a cat."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"How are the kids?"

"Fine. I think."

"You need to see them more."

"I know."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"I'm horny."

"Wa...what?"

"Now, don't get all flustered."

"Well, it's hard to do when you tell me you're horny."

"You're horny too."

"I am not."

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"Monday."

"Of?"

"1999."

"God, and I thought I was bad."

"I'm fine with it."

"Wait. If you haven't had sex for that long, how did Andrea get pregnant?"

"I had some of my little guys frozen."

"Little guys?"

"Sperm."

"So the last bit of action you got was with a cup?"

"Can we change the subject?"

"I'm drunk."

"I'm aware."

"And horny."

"We've established that."

"You have a couch."

"NO!"

"What, I was kidding."

"Then why is your hand on my thigh?"

"Just teasing."

"Stop it."

"So, you're like a born again virgin?"

"I am not."

"Leo told me he saw you naked."

"What? When?"

"During the last campaign. You were getting out of the shower and your towel slipped. Guess what he told me?"

"I don't want to know."

"He told me, "By the size of that thing, Toby probably has the biggest hands in New York City," and I don't think he was lying about it."

"Tell me we're not having a discussion about my..."

"Penis? Dick? Cock?"

"Hey!"

"You're not one of those men who names it, are you?"

"No."

"Can I see it?"

"No! I'm not an open market where you can come and see things as you please."

"I promise I won't touch it...unless you want me to."

"Get your hand off of it."

"Damn, even soft it's impressive."

"I'm warning you..."

"Oooh, looks like it wants to come out and play."

"How are you this drunk?"

"Come back here! I wasn't finished."

"Do you see what you did? Look!"

"I bet you're having trouble walking now."

"Yes. Thanks a lot."

"Come here and let me fix that."

"You are not allowed to be drunk, in my office, alone with me, again."

"No one will know. I haven't had sex in three years."

"Why?"

"He can't."

"Why?"

"All the medications."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"So, how about we try out your couch."

"No."

"Toby, just shut up and get naked."

"Adultery."

"What?"

"I'm not going to help you commit adultery."

"Toby..."

"Put your shirt back on!"

"Toby, Toby, Toby..."

"Pull that skirt back up now!"

"Oops."

"Get the bra off the ground now!"

"Come on, it'll be fun. I'll let you be on top."

"Are you really this wasted?"

"Nope. Just horny. Now, off with those clothes."

"No. I'm not a servicing center. I'm not here to service your sexual needs. I'm sorry he can't perform because of the medicines, but he has always had a mouth on him. Oh my God, did I just say that outloud?"

"I just want the real thing tonight. Here. Right here. With you."

"This is immoral."

"He knows I'm here. He wants this to happen for me."

"Wait...what?"

"He knows. So if you're worrying he might walk in on us and shoot you, don't be."

"He knows you're trying to have sex with me?"

"Yes."

"Has everyone gone mad...What...What are you doing?"

"Unbuckling your belt because you haven't done it yet."

"Get away from me."

"Stop slapping my hands. Now who's manhandling? There we go."

"This is not going to happen."

"From the look of things, yes they will."

"What...what are you doing now?"

"Well, I got the pants off. And I'm just letting your boxers join them. Damn!"

"What?"

"Leo was right. You're very..."

"Shut up now. Please."

"Fine, but be gentle. Never quite had one that big."

"This is the lowest moment of my life."

"Now the shirt...See, now we're both ready."

"Can I just die of embarrassment now?"

"Not until you and I finish this, buddy boy. So, how do you like it?"

"I'm sorry. What?"

"On top?"

"I don't care. This is not going to happppp...oh God!"

"Itmmmmm. Goonnnnnn. Mmmmsmm"

"Stop...stop...stop...oh, God...you...need...to...stop..."

"Liking that?"

"Get up and stop that! Don't do that."

"Yeah, I'm too old to get down on my knees anyway. Come on, couch time."

"Damn you."

"Yep. I win."

"One time. I mean it."

"Can I be on top?"

_**LATER**_

"Wow."

"What?"

"Toby, that was...wow. I don't think I can move."

"Did the President really know what you were doing here?"

"Yes. He wanted me to get sex from someone we trust. Leo wouldn't have worked. Josh is, well, he's Josh. And I've always wanted you."

"Really?"

"You're the only one I like to get drunk with."

"Abbey..."

"Tonight was fun. And I plan on doing it a lot more. But next time, can we leave the liquor out. I have a headache."

"I feel like a pimp."

"You're my pimp, big boy. Now on to round two!"

"You're going to kill me."

The End


End file.
